Dialogue between Compassionate and Resilient-Self

There was a time not too far away, the Resilient-Self went searching breathlessly for her Compassionate-Self. She was not sure if she had been put to sleep, decided by herself to go to sleep, or maybe was just hiding somewhere beneath and was afraid to come to light.  

The Resilient-Self is the one who is speaking. She is depicted as the “I”.

The Resilient-Self whispered to the Compassionate-Self. She wanted no one to hear their dialogue.  She said:

“Where were you all those years? Were you really hiding? And if so where? I have been looking for you.  I still remember the time when you were so kind, so loving, so happy, so serene, so optimistic and so innocent. I saw that people did not return your kindness with kindness, your smile with a smile, your genuine generosity with genuine generosity. I could not bear the sight of how they treated you and how you remained even.  So, I needed to intervene. I pushed you to the side and took your place. 

I felt strong again, I felt driven. Yet happiness was nowhere to find. I felt the void. I wanted you back. I sent you letters, poems, prayers. But you did not respond, not even a whisper.   What an irony, I thought. We both lost. You disappeared and along with your disappearance I, the Resilient-Self, lost my strength. Tristesse came to take your place. 

Why did you go? Is it because you were searching for a different soul, a distinctive gospel to embody you?  We should have played together, you know, like a team would do. How come we never thought of that? Can you imagine the power we would have had?

Compassionate-Self finally came to light and took the veil off her beautiful faultless face. She looked so peaceful as if she had been cleansed by God to be revived again.  

She gave me her hand, took mine and invited me to go for a long promenade.  We went to a very serene place. We sat there together in sheer silence.   It was so still that I could hear silence whispering in my ears the ballad of being born to life again. I could hear God smiling, the birds sleeping, the leaves breathing and the sea singing.  

Compassionate-Self did not judge, did not blame, did not even defend herself. Being present was enough for her.  She knew that underneath the strong Resilient-Self, it was shaky because the pillars of compassion were missing.  

She caressed my face, held me in her arms, embraced me like the sunset embraces the sea to become One to share the colour and warmth they both need.

Resilient-Self was relieved. She felt forgiven.  Compassionate-Self was back for her to keep.

What a blessed feeling, she said, to know, to touch, to savor compassionate forgiveness. As if God visited my home, blessed me in my sleep and kissed me on my cheek. 

Compassionate-Self embraced Resilient-Self one more time. They became One. 

And before closing the curtain of pain to open the drape of hope, compassionate self said:

I am the beginning and the end

I am the one who looks at things to mend

I am the breeze

I am the wind

I am the one you apprehend

I am where fruit are hanging from the trees

Where the sun is caressing the leaves

Where water is prickling at your knees

I am the joy

I am the strength

I am everything you need

to finally feel at ease.